Fortune Kooky

What is it with Fortune cookies and me?  Picture this, the meal is over and the waiter brings the check along with the fortune cookies. My dining partners crack theirs open one by one.  They read their fortunes aloud, don’t we all? 

“You are going to have a visit from a wonderful friend.”  “

“You are going to come into a bit of money.”

“ You are wise beyond your years.”

And then it’s my turn.  “Wow! A secret message from your teeth!”

Seriously?  What kind of cryptic fortune is that?  My teeth are fine.  I just visited the dentist last month and she tells me that they are great, no gum disease, no cavities and absolutely no vocal chords. So let me get this straight, a message is hidden in my teeth?  I go the restroom and check it out.  Nope, no message, no one has planted any sort of miniature device holding a secret formula.  So what’s the message?  I am thinking that a comedian must be working in the fortune cookie factory and he has his sights set on me. 

Oh yes, this is not the first time I have sat there with my jaw on the table as I read yet another ridiculous fortune to the amusement of my friends and family.  It’s getting to be a running gag, as they all sit waiting for Crystal’s newest fortune.  Silence looms as I read, and then the whole table bursts into fits of laughter. 

“You are ignorant beyond understanding.”  I practically choked on that one.  Would you really want to announce that fact in a crowded Chinese restaurant?  How’s that for a boost to the ego?

Another day, another meal and the check arrives along with the appropriate amount of cookies.  I slide down a bit further in my seat.  Maybe the conversation will steer this out of the cookie announcement phase.  No such luck, my sister appoints herself the great distributor and puts a cookie at each place setting.  If I was quick maybe I could try the old switcheroo, but no they’ve all seen their particular cookie.  The time has come.  I brace myself for the inevitable.  They all read their normal fortunes about life, love and the pursuit of happiness and then, its my turn.

I crack it open.  I pull that little piece of paper out and look at it.  It says…. nothing, it’s blank!  Silence to match the emptiness on my fortune.  And then the table erupts into the usual roaring laughter.  I aim to please.

Have a great weekend everyone!