Party games?

As the crow flies?

As the crow flies is an adage that usually refers to the most direct route.  Modern airlines used to get you to your destination as the crow flies.  Unfortunately with cutbacks and cost saving efforts, this is no longer true.  The crow is flying a bit crooked these days.

My son, who just finished Tech School in Texas, decided he wanted to come home for a week visit before he goes to his duty base.  He booked a flight.  I live in Virginia, not 40 miles from the Nation’s capital, and he was coming from Texas. 

His flight went like this…fly to Dallas, wait and switch planes, fly to Miami, wait some more, get on another plane and finally fly to D.C.    Total travel time, close to nine hours.  Now, lets visualize a U.S. map.  We start out directly across from our destination, but find its better go down that map as far as we can only to turn around and go up the map.

It gets better.  When researching flight to his new base in N. D. I learn that I must first go to Atlanta, and then go to Minneapolis, and from that point, travel to N. D.

What’s next, going to Europe via the Arctic Circle?

Personally I think I have figured out how they come up with these itineraries.  The Airline executives all get together and have a martini lunch.  After about six cocktails, they decide to map out the routes for upcoming flights.  They attach a map on the wall, and blindfold the CEO.  He has a big pushpin and he’s twirled around three times and directed towards the map.  They all have fun and pretty soon they have all their flights mapped out. 

This technique may be familiar to you as the child’s game of pin the tail on the donkey or in country jargon, “going around your elbow to get to your ass”.

(Honestly now, I didn’t curse, look it up-- an ass is just a donkey)

p.s.  The pastel above was painted a few years ago when my son was around 11 years old.  He is now a handsome 19 year old airman first class.  :-)