It makes scents to me

Pastel ACEO

What does your choice of perfumes and colognes say about you?  Do you like to smell like something fresh out of the oven or sickly sweet with a swarm of bees circling over your head? 

Perfumes and colognes make perfect gifts don’t they? Once I had a boyfriend who presented me with an expensive bottle of cologne that I absolutely detested.  Every time he came over I had to dab the vile stuff on, gagging as I did.  We broke up after a bit and I truly believe that the perfume had something to do with it. They no longer make it, so I guess i wasn't alone.

If you are considering buying fragrance for someone this Christmas (Are you listening guys?) before you do, perhaps you should check out the following list of choices and match them up with the giftee.

1.     Industrial strength.  This is the favorite of Grandmas everywhere.  While the scent itself is not too awful, it is so overpowering that it has the ability to cause dizziness up to a mile away.

2.     The way to a man’s heart.   Feel like a cookie, or some fruit?   This is the fragrance for you.  This one has the ability to cause anyone within its range to break a diet.  Fortunately perfumers haven’t come up with a meat loaf scent yet, but give it time.

3.     The bee’s knees.  This is any scent of a very identifiable flower.  Think gardenia or Easter lily.  Just make sure you have your epi-pen handy.

4.     Hippy heaven.  A flower child fav, Patchouli is an Asian plant with a very strong scent.  Right up there with musk and jasmine, it should bring back many happy memories of days gone past.  Use with caution or you may break out the flower printed bell-bottoms and fringed vests.

5.     France is best.  The French are fantastic perfumers, no question about it. But really there is no need to actually go to France to buy.  My brother visited France while I was in college and wanted to know what I wanted him to get me.  My answer--French perfume.  He returned with a tiny bottle of perfume I could pick up right here in the states.  And here I was thinking I would be getting something unique.  By the way, French perfumes often appear in the industrial strength category as well.

6.     The hiker.  Do you like the smell of rain on the grass?  If you do then you fit in this category quite well.  It’s wood-sy, and outdoor-sy and many other sy’s that are found in the open air.

7.     The Fan club. Sometimes wonderful, but mostly hype.  It always bears the name of some celebrity.

8.  The XX file.  I know, forgive me for the nod to an old TV show about aliens.  Women who love this fragrance like it to be a combination of scents--and unidentifiable.  Whoever’s listening, this is my fragrance of choice... :-)