Saturday, February 19, 2011

Fortune Kooky

What is it with Fortune cookies and me?  Picture this, the meal is over and the waiter brings the check along with the fortune cookies. My dining partners crack theirs open one by one.  They read their fortunes aloud, don’t we all? 

“You are going to have a visit from a wonderful friend.” 

“You are going to come into a bit of money.”

“ You are wise beyond your years.”

And then it’s my turn.  “Wow! A secret message from your teeth!”

Seriously?  What kind of cryptic fortune is that?  My teeth are fine.  I just visited the dentist last month and she tells me that they are great, no gum disease, no cavities and absolutely no vocal chords. So let me get this straight, a message is hidden in my teeth?  I go the restroom and check it out.  Nope, no message, no one has planted any sort of miniature device holding a secret formula.  So what’s the message?  I am thinking that a comedian must be working in the fortune cookie factory and he has his sights set on me. 

Oh yes, this is not the first time I have sat there with my jaw on the table as I read yet another ridiculous fortune to the amusement of my friends and family.  It’s getting to be a running gag, as they all sit waiting for Crystal’s newest fortune.  Silence looms as I read, and then the whole table bursts into fits of laughter. 

“You are ignorant beyond understanding.”  I practically choked on that one.  Would you really want to announce that fact in a crowded Chinese restaurant?  How’s that for a boost to the ego?

Another day, another meal and the check arrives along with the appropriate amount of cookies.  I slide down a bit further in my seat.  Maybe the conversation will steer this out of the cookie announcement phase.  No such luck, my sister appoints herself the great distributor and puts a cookie at each place setting.  If I was quick maybe I could try the old switcheroo, but no they’ve all seen their particular cookie.  The time has come.  I brace myself for the inevitable.  They all read their normal fortunes about life, love and the pursuit of happiness and then, its my turn.

I crack it open.  I pull that little piece of paper out and look at it.  It says…. nothing, it’s blank!  Silence to match the emptiness on my fortune.  And then the table erupts into the usual roaring laughter.  I aim to please.

Have a great weekend everyone!


Wanda said...

HaHaHa ~ Crystal this is hilarious. I laughed so hard. After the one about the teeth, I thought you were going to say you found a piece of seaweed hanging from a tooth....

The blank...that takes the cake!!!

So... I would like to give you a blessing... You will have a great life and many more laughs at your fortune cookie messages!!!

Anonymous said...

Crystal I have tears in my eyes from laughing so hard. I'm sorry...I shouldn't be laughing at your "misfortunate" cookies...


Carol Blackburn said...

What a wonderful post this is....made me laugh maybe because it remnds me all too much of how things happen around here. It hits close to home, shall I say. You are too funny, Crystal and I'm so glad you share this stuff with your blog friends. :) :)

Leovi said...

Congratulations on your beautiful white teeth. I have to go in search of fortune cookies. Have a good Sunday.

Marlene said...

LOL, you my friend are not alone, I think we eat at the same restaurant, or at least they buy their cookies from the same place...The guy writing the fortunes must have been tired on that last one.

Catherine... said...

Lol, how funny... so sorry for your misfortune... hope you have a good Sunday...the fortunate bit is that you shared with us.. and we all had a good laugh... at least you won't be surprised when your teeth start chatting to you....

Lee said...

Crystal, thanks for sharing those moments and giving us a chuckle. :D
Now did you know that a fortune cookie must be chosen by you to have any meaning or have lucky lotto numbers on the reverse side?
I've seen many weird ones but my favorites are the ones with multiple fortunes inside.

EVA said...

LOL! LMAO. You know, it is great to make others laugh!!

What "amazing" luck you have!!

The fortune cookie etiquette I have learned is that you take whatever fortune cookies' points are facing you. Might that change your luck I wonder?

In your teeth? Secret message...hmmm. Maybe the secret message is that you have good health! ;)

Magic Love Crow said...

Crystal, you are adorable! Thanks so much for the laugh!! I can't wait to see the next one ;o)

BeadedTail said...

Sorry to hear about your less than inspiring fortunes but maybe it means your fortune is to bring joy to others by telling your stories! That is exactly what you did - along with a few giggles too!

Tiago Braga said...

Currently, I have a picture of me in the competition, whose theme is "ecological footprint ". For me it's very important that travel through the link below and voting on my photo!
The way to do is the following: raisins on the link, click on like the page and then click on like in the photo (FIRST YOU HAVE TO LIKE THE PAGE).

The link is

I am Very Grateful to you!
Much thanks!

Greeting! Strong Hug

Jennifer Noel Bower said...

Very, VERY funny post...I concur with Beaded Tail's comment, but thought maybe you are destined to 'write your own' fortune. Thanks for the laugh and being inspiring.

Heather said...

ha ha ha!!!!! this is too strange, i often wonder who makes up the fortunes anyway...i probably would have freaked if i read the teeth one, as i have a thing with teeth! he heh he! hope you are enjoying your day...i meant to say you should join us over at Sunday Sketches, too!
I wasn't feeling well yesterday...and you are right there is nothing worse that a spring cold, BUT now we have snow again and i am feeling better...go figure??????

Craftymoose Crafts said...

Thanks for stopping by my blog & for your lovely comments! This post is just too funny...coming from someone who has saved every fortune they have ever received-really!

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