Where are my glasses?

I used to have perfect eyesight.  And then it almost seemed as if I woke up one day and just about everything written was as tiny as the fine print on rip-off contract. At first it seemed to help if I held the material a bit further away, and away and away.  Pretty soon my arms just weren’t long enough.  I finally I had to admit, if only to myself that I needed--drat, reading glasses. 

So I went the way of drugstore readers.  You know the dorky glasses from the display by the prescription counter.  They seemed to work ok, but since I can’t really walk in them I never could seem to keep track of those slippery little devils.  So I decided to actually go to the optometrist.  Contacts are nice but difficult to put in and if you can see well at a distance, they will cause your distance to be blurred.  Being an artist, I just wasn’t too happy with that trade off.  The doctor suggested progressives.

Progressive lenses are in actuality no line bi-focals.  Just like the ones granny wore when she did her knitting, except now the line is invisible.  They take some getting used to but after a while it becomes easier.  You just have to get in the habit of looking out of the right area. 

After the exam I had to decide on which one of the 300 frames on display I would like. First of all, glasses are not my favorite kind of fashion accessory. I mean unless you are Elton John, what can you do with two lenses and a frame.  It’s kind of like a bikini, yeah you can change the color, maybe put on a bow or a button,  but how different can you really design them, when all they consist of are two tiny pieces?  I chose the first one.

For me, it’s still not like good old regular eyesight.  Sometimes it’s just more comfortable to take them off when I am walking around.  That is where my problems arise.  I can never remember where I put my glasses.  I go upstairs, not there, I go downstairs still not there. I look on the main floor and give up and then I realize that they are sitting right on my head where I pushed them up.  Even one of those chains that my husband keeps suggesting wouldn’t work because I know I would just forget they were hanging there.

My solution is to have a pair upstairs, one downstairs, one on the main floor and finally one in my purse.  Now that may seem a bit extreme, but after about 10 years of glasses and my eyesight changing only slightly, I have amassed quite a collection of glasses.  They even sell reading glasses in dollar stores so I can buy another for my glove box, one for the deck, the front porch, my work,…..